Perimenopause is hard.
I have found some practices that have been helpful and have included them in this post!
Because every woman's menopause journey is unique, I will start with my story and then share what has worked for me. Time is precious. My tips are at the end. You do you!
My perimenopause journey so far:
My symptoms were first identified as perimenopause at the age of 44, though they likely started around 41.
I went from being a vibrant, lively, outgoing, holiday and family loving women, to a version of myself that resembled none of those things. Much of the time, I didn't want to be around friends, family, or my spouse. My two chihuahuas, Otto and Finn have been my constant companions, and at times my only source of solace.
When I couldn't get off my pink couch and began having visions of a world where I no longer existed, I told my partner, called my doctor, and immediately started Lexapro. Thankfully, my depression dissolved and my anxiety returned to my pre-perimenopause levels.
About 6 months later, the hot flashes and night sweats started. I was sleeping about 4 hours a night if I was lucky and waking up every 20 minutes. I know women who have spent 10 years in that state. I "cried uncle" at two months. To be clear, we should not wait until we are suffering to ask for help, and I do not consider taking hormones to be a failure or a last resort, but rather success in knowing and asking for what we need. Personally, I was not putting up with that horror for one day past two months.
At the time, my doctor did not have one patient on HRT due to years of fear from the misinterpreted WHI study. To his credit, my doctor did his homework, confirmed I'd be a good candidate based on my detailed medical history, put his ego aside, and sent me to a reproductive endocrinologist to ensure my treatment algorithm was correct. I acknowledge both my luck and privilege that I have such great medical care. Sadly, my story is the exception, not the rule.
Hormones and hormone replacement therapy (HRT) or menopausal hormone therapy (MHT) are great, but they are not a silver bullet, and menopause symptoms aren't as easy to subdue as some would-be werewolf.
I have been on HRT, an estradiol patch and daily progesterone, for the last two years. I hoped that once I got on HRT, I'd be able to stop Lexapro and Xanax for bouts of panic but that has not been the case. I recently had to increase my dose of estradiol and panic still creeps up when I least expect it.
Medication alone has not been enough.
To stay healthy and happy-ish, I had to:
1. Change pretty much everything that used to work for me
2. Give up my idea about what an "ideal body," looks like.
3. Radically accept this new version of myself.
You know, easy stuff like that 👆👆👆👆
Over time, all the things have gotten easier, but I still have days when I want to grab my handbags, my dogs, my TBR pile, a box of dark chocolate, and a case of Sancerre and head to a tiny cottage in the woods where no one can find me!
According to my healthcare practitioners I am likely at least midway through perimenopause, but there is NO way to test our progress through perimenopause so I will just have to wait like everyone else till that 366th day with no period.
Here's what has helped me so far (in addition to my medications):
1. Community: Without a doubt talking to other women who are currently experiencing or have been through menopause has been my lifeline. The second I realized that I was not the only one woman feeling broken, and that there actually a medical acronym NFLM (not feeling like myself) for what I was going through, I felt so much better. I want everyone journeying through perimenopause to have hope so I created The Fuchsia Tent, an online community where women can connect to and support one another.
2. Lifting light weights 3-4 times per week: I hate exercise and I loathed strength training. Now I love it. I do sessions for 25-30 minutes at a time in my home with a weight set I bought on Amazon. I have a lot of friends who swear by weighted vests and kettlebells. To each their own.
Strength training increases bone density, improves metabolism, increases muscle mass, and helps prevent injury. We have many great fitness professionals inside The Fuchsia Tent Community, and as with any change to exercise or nutrition, seek the advice of a qualified healthcare practitioner before getting started.
3. Eating more protein: I have a lot of gut issues, always have. So I was eating in a way that was not giving me enough protein. Protein is important for perimenopausal women as it helps build muscle mass which improves metabolism. Protein is also an important building block for bone density and cellular repair.
Humans are bioindividual, and need differing amounts and types of protein to function optimally. Qualified Nutritionists are a great source of information, and if that is not an option, there are online protein calculators. Figuring out what to eat during perimenopause is often trial and error, as well as subject to change with hormone fluctuations.
4. Being in nature: My partner likes to say "you have lots of thoughts." He is not wrong, and the number of thoughts have increased and gotten darker since encountering perimenopausal hormone fluctuations.
Walking outside, downhill skiing near trees, sitting by a pond, and walking in the woods all work for me. I know I am starting to sound like Henry David Thoreau here, but you get my drift. When all the problems feel insurmountable, it is great to be in nature and remember the vastness of the world, which helps me minimize everyday frustrations and irritations.
5. Journaling: Throughout this "transition," I have written three pages, better known as Morning Pages from Julia Cameron's "The Artist Way,: every single morning. Handwriting is heart writing, and when the head is jumbled, as it frequently is during perimenopause, it is critical to get in touch with our hearts.
Journaling is a form of self-therapy. It does not matter what you write, just that you write consistently. Some days, I literally write "I am so tired. I am so tired. I am so tired," over and over again. Even that helps! Note to self: I literally need to put an instruction in my will that upon my death, the entire box of blush pink journals are to burned before reading to protect the innocent.
These tips aren't perfect. I'm not perfect. Medications, supplements, nutrition, devices, and exercise are imperfect.
In my experience, perimenopause is a game of trial and error. For me, it has been a time of much frustration, profound self-exploration, and a dismantling of beliefs that no longer serve me.
Who knows what the next few years, even months will bring, but I plan on keeping you posted along the way!
XO,
Kacy
-------------------
Hi, I'm Kacy! My mission is to provide clarity, simplicity, access for all in the menopausal transition
Follow me on IG @thefuchsiatent
Subscribe to my 📰 letter to get the latest menopause information!
Looking for support through the menopause transition? Book a free consultation
Looking for community and expert support: Join The Fuchsia ⛺️