Midlife Strength Training Secrets with Holly Rilinger

I was attending "The New Pause," a glitzy and informative yearly event put on by Alisa Volkman and her organization, "The Swell." Alisa always brings in top notch experts who I learn loads from and I love catching up with all of the other women in the Menoverse (the group of female founders working in the menopause space).

It was in the One Hotel Brooklyn, wearing a dress and orthopedic high heals, I met the incredibly fit, Holly Rilinger. I took one look at her arms and knew I had to have whatever it was she was having. Of course, I knew immediately that a body like Holly's requires more sacrifice than my gluten free chocolate croissant loving heart was ready to make. Alas, I was determined to learn at least a few tips I could use to get stronger.

Yes, yes...I want to live to be 104, but not as a frail old lady confined to a walker. As a proud member of Generation X, I have seen the movie that shows what happens when all we care about is weight and looks. My friends and community members talk often about our aging family members being our impetus for getting strong and staying strong.

We are focused on Healthspan

A health span is the length of time in a person's life during which they are generally healthy and free from serious or chronic disease. It's different from lifespan, which simply measures how long someone lives. 

 Health span focuses on the quality of life and duration of good health rather than just survival. 

One of the most significant barriers many women face when approaching strength training is fear – fear of injury, fear of doing it wrong, and fear of not being strong enough. Holly addressed these concerns head-on with a simple but powerful message: "Being afraid to work out because you're going to get hurt is like not going across the street because you could get hit by a car." The key is to venture out safely and thoughtfully.

Holly emphasized the importance of mastering proper form before adding weight. This "foundation first" approach ensures safety and effectiveness. She introduced two fundamental movements that every woman should master:

1. The proper squat technique
2. The deadlift movement pattern

Both exercises target major muscle groups and provide significant metabolic benefits when performed correctly.

She also emphasized that until we can do 10 reps of an exercise without weights, competently and with correct form, we should not add weight. A caveat Holly shares however, is that we as women frequently underestimate our own strength.

Perhaps the most valuable lesson was about progression. Holly introduced a simple self-assessment technique: after completing your set, ask yourself, "Could I have done 3-4 more reps?" If the answer is yes, it's time to increase your weight. This approach helps us avoid the common pitfall of under-challenging ourselves with weights that are too light.

Conversely, if 8-10 reps is our max and we cannot do another rep with good form, we have hit out limit, and it is not time to increase our weights just yet. Patience is a virtue (one that I sadly do not possess). If we are just starting to strength train, slow and steady wins the race. Great form, consistent routine, and asking yourself if you could lift more are keys to successful habit formation.

What struck me most was Holly's emphasis on strength training as a tool for empowerment. "Women are really having a moment right now – we are tapping into our power in a big way," she noted. "You want to think about that in your workouts. How can I tap into my power, gain some confidence in the weight room, and take that with you out into your day?"

As I mentioned at the top, as a fitness loather, the fact that Holly makes me want to drop and do pushups should tell you all you need to know about her ability to motivate. She helps us see the connection between our personal power and how we show up in the world to our physical power and how we move about the world. 

As women in midlife, we often underestimate our capabilities. Holly's workshop reminded us that strength training isn't just about physical strength – it's about building confidence, improving overall health, and supporting our bodies through the menopausal transition.

Whether you're just starting your strength training journey or looking to refine your approach, remember this key message: start where you are, focus on form, and progressively challenge yourself. Your body is capable of more than you think.

This post is based on insights from Holly Rilinger's workshop with The Fuchsia Tent community. For more information about menopause support and resources, visit thefuchsiatent.com .